“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all – look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love.”—Zooey Deschanel (via sugar-and-heartbreak)
I have found that all we really want and need is support. Support in the unconditional sense. Support that comes from words, actions(like a favor, homecooked meal, help with chores), warm touches, but mainly reiterating words. And maybe that’s me with my own love language of words. When I feel unsupported, I miss my family. But it all comes down to my support of myself from my energy and spirit within. That will be my only source of unconditional support because I know how to support myself.
I woke up early this morning and laid in my bed for about 20 before I got up. It was a warm time with my thoughts and I set an intention for the day. I realized I needed to let go of my attachment to other people’s opinions(that I am just creating in my head) on what I am doing here while I haven’t found the job yet. It is creating drama in my own world and judgment that I haven’t even heard. That is the ego. That is blocking my energy to actually call in the right job. This morning I let that go. It has nothing to do with other people, just my own ego.
I went on a bike ride at 715. It was so beautiful to ride by the mountains and see how everyone starts their day. I rode by 2 “homeless” men pushing a cart (classic picture) and one of the men was smiling soo big to me- it was a reminder of human kindness.
Just felt like writing today, here’s to a great day of love, adventure, and finding what we need.
I may be queen procrastinator. Even though the homework I am working on right now is due in a week, I am to write a rough draft today. Each hour goes by and I am only an inch further than before. yes, this is boring and I try to trick my mind into productivity mode. I drink coffee, I try to get excited about the topic, and set rewards. Still, I am here, writing about it on tumblr… makes no logical sense.
Activities done to procrastinate: made 2 playlists for bachelorette party, searched online for craft ideas, e-mailed people, watched youtube videos, done OTHER homework, etc. So, I think I have “dicked” around enough and should get this done in order to have a good night tonight.
PS: my paper topic is on mormonism…interesting, eh?